Last Updated on: 23rd June 2025, 06:35 pm

How to Legally Remove Your Ex’s Belongings After Separation or Divorce

When you go through a breakup or separation from your significant other, it can cause a lot of stress.

One problem that many couples have to go through when they separate is having one of the individuals refuse to take their belongings from the living area that was shared when still together as a couple.

This can end up being a very serious problem and can make it difficult to move on. In property law, abandonment refers to the voluntary and intentional discarding of a recognized property right.

When you are the one left with your ex’s belongings and they refuse to remove them, you could be wondering what your legal options are for getting rid of the stuff. Below are some of the steps to take in order to get this situation resolved the right way.

Don’t Make Any Rash Decisions

After a breakup, especially a rough one, it can be tempting to just throw away or sell the items that your ex left behind and refuses to pick up.

You might be more than ready to move on from anything to do with them. However, this is not the right way to go about it and is illegal.

The best first step is to create an inventory of all of your ex’s belongings. It it not completely necessary for the inventory to be a detailed list, but a basic inventory list is a good first step in getting this issue resolved the right way.

Notify The Person To Retrieve Their Belongings

It is very likely that your ex knows full well they have belongings they have left behind. However, it is in your best interest to let them know that you want their things to be picked up in writing.

If you send an email or a text, keep a copy of the message for future use if it comes to that. Write a certified letter to your ex detailing what items have been left (including pictures may be smart) and asking that they be removed within a certain time period (no less than 30 days).

If you end up having to go to court over this issue, you will want there to be evidence that you told them to pick up their belongings.

If you really want to cover yourself, you could send them a letter via certified mail. When you send a letter to them about retrieving their belongings by certified mail, they will have to acknowledge receipt of the letter.

Give A Deadline

Depending on where you live, an ex can be given from 30-60 days to retrieve their belongings. While 30 days should be considered a minimum deadline, you should not set a deadline for less than 30 days.

This is considered to be ample time for an ex to remove their possessions. If the deadline passes and they have yet to remove their own possessions, it will be likely acceptable that you are free to remove their belongings from your home as you see fit.

If at a later point your ex decides that they want to take you to court for not giving them back their belongings, then you will have proof that you told them to pick up their stuff in writing, gave them a respectful deadline and gave them ample time to get their possessions.

If you do everything listed above before getting rid of your ex’s stuff, you will have no issues if they do decide to take you to court over it. You will have all the evidence you need in order to have the case dismissed because you did everything legally and in your power to let your ex gain possession of their stuff before ridding of it yourself.

Many of these types of cases do not end up in court. However, it is still in your best interest to keep evidence of all correspondence in the unlikely event your ex does try to take you to court over it.

Legal Considerations During Divorce and Separation

A divorce or separation can be easy and amicable. People can simply decide they no longer wish to be with each other.

Unfortunately, not all separations and divorces are so easy. There may be problems that exist as the process begins.

One issue that can arise are when one member of the couple has items in the couple’s lodgings the other does not want to keep around.

The other person may simply, repeatedly refuse to remove them despite pleas to do so by the other party.

Be Measured

It can feel infuriating when this happens. The first thing to do is avoid doing something suddenly.

It’s best to begin with a few basic steps before doing anything else. Anyone in the process of separation and divorce should begin by creating a list of belongings they no longer wish to have around.

These belongings should be belongings that are solely owned by the other partner. For example:

• That partner’s clothing
• Shoes
• Other items such as a high school yearbook

Create a list about each item. It should include details such as the make and model. It should also include pictures of item.

This shows what kind of condition that the item is right now. Detailed pictures provide legal evidence that can be used in court during the process of separation to help indicate the condition of the item and where it was stored during the separation and divorce process.

Let the Person Know

After creating a list, it’s time to let the other party know in writing. Contact the spouse and tell them about the belongings that are no longer desired.

It’s best to do this as formally as possible. Sometimes, the spouse may be fully aware that their items are not wanted there. They are keeping them there in part because they are deliberately trying to make life harder for the other person.

The law does not care if this is the case. Abandonment is most likely to be a factor when it has hurt the remaining spouse’s finances.

What a judge will care about are formal efforts to let the person know their property is no longer wanted at this point in time. The judge will also care very much that all steps have been taken to inform the spouse of this fact.

It’s best to do so via certified mail. You can have papers served by mail if your spouse will sign a form acknowledging they got the papers and mail the form back.

The mail should indicate the specific items that are not wanted. For example, one partner can tell the other they do not want to have their socks around as well as any existing electronic gaming systems and the spouse’s winter coat.

Think about including pictures in the mail to indicate the current condition of the items. This can help ward off claims that any items were damaged later on by the spouse who is presently holding them right now.

Sending the letter certified mail is ideal. It offers any divorce court legal evidence that the party was connected directly in person about the items in question.

Be Specific About Deadlines

Once the process to retrieve belongings belongings has been set in motion, it’s time to create a deadline. The deadline gives the spouse time to pick up their items.

Make sure it’s at least thirty days. This illustrates that one partner is acting in good faith and giving the other partner every opportunity to pick up their belongs up and get them.

The time frame should begin from the time they have received the certified letter. This means they have been notified of the deadline in writing.

Doing it this way has many important advantages. If they do not get the items they need in that time, the spouse is free to get rid of them.

The letter and the deadline provide plenty of evidence that the other partner has lived up their legal obligation to let them know about their personal property.