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Divorce is a hard decision and an even harder process. Be aware that making the decision is only the start of the legal steps that you need to take to end your marriage and legally split with your ex. Staying flexible and enduring the process will save you a lot of worry and upset.
Once You Hire An Attorney and File
Once the filing process has started, both you and your attorney are waiting for a response from your ex. If locating your ex turns out to be a challenge, then getting them served with the papers can cause delays. Other delays may crop up depending on the speed of response from your ex’s attorney. Functionally, until the case moves forward with some sort of action by or connection with your ex, everyone is stuck.
Patience is Critical
Be aware that your attorney is doing their best to build a good settlement for you and any children that may have resulted from the marriage. However, your ex may be stone-walling your attorney, might be impossible to reach, or may simply be ignoring you. Use this time to your advantage. Do not let any delays, intentional or accidental, push you into an emotional state where you say or do anything that will cause problems in the future.
Contact Your Attorney If You’re Concerned
If the latest contact from your attorney was that he’d get back to you within the week but it’s been ten days, call them. If, however, they agreed to call you when they heard from your ex’s attorney and it’s been three days, consider: When your attorney meets with you to re-state that they’ll call you when they hear back from your ex’s attorney, they are working for you, and you will be charged.
Keep Careful Notes of Your Conversations With Your Attorney
Your divorce attorney is aware of the court schedule, the filing requirements and any delay penalties. That being said, they are restricted in how much information they can give you until contacted by your ex or their attorney. You need certainty, and until that contact is made, your attorney can’t offer you any guarantees. Take care of yourself emotionally and be prepared to push some things to the back of your mind so you can focus on what needs doing today. There are points at which your attorney will have to say, “I don’t have any new information for you.” Be certain you have notes of your last conversation so you can confirm where you are if need be.
The Final Say
Ultimately, the Supreme Court of the State of New York handles divorce cases. Before it gets to the Supreme Court of the county of your residence, your attorney and the attorney for your ex need to have constructed a completed set of divorce papers ready for filing. Delays in communication between you and your attorney, your attorney and their attorney, or your ex and their attorney will impact the speed at which you are finally legally divorced.
It is tempting at many points in the divorce process to toss your hands in the air and walk away. For your future and the future of any children from the relationship, hang on to your patience, your temper and your dignity.
Need more information? Speak to one of our NYC matrimonial lawyers today.