22 Jul 16

Can I prevent him from converting the separation into a divorce?

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Divorce is usually a mutual decision, but there are times when one of the parties involved may not fully agree with this final determination. What happens when one of the parties vehemently opposes the divorce? Can you prevent your spouse from divorcing you?

You cannot force anyone into action

Every individual has rights and freedoms that are protected by law. Legally speaking, there is no way to force anyone to take any kind of action regarding a mutual decision. Therefore, all couples need open communication, mutual respect, and the willingness to listen as channels by which they can agree on things. If those channels are closed, or damaged, the situation becomes stressful for everyone involved.

Whether an argument against divorce is valid or not, it is still a situation where two adults need to transcend their deeply-rooted emotions and make an important choice. Therefore, if this is your case, do not go into a divorce thinking that you can “make” someone think or act a certain way. This may be the time to finally let go. Consider that.

Coming to terms with divorce

Having to argue with someone to remain married to you already says a lot about the relationship. Chances are that there are differences in communication and points of view that need to be addressed directly and as soon as possible. Reconciliation may or may not still be an option, however, the first step of the process is for spouses to mutually communicate their goals and determine if it is worth giving the marriage another try. If this is not a viable option there are other possible steps.

Contesting the divorce

Contesting a divorce means to legally argue against it. If you decide to contest a divorce, you will need a lawyer. Every time you contest anything in a court of law, you should provide the grounds upon which you are exerting this right. This does not mean that the divorce will be stopped; it simply means that a further inquiry must be made as far as the legitimacy of the grounds for contesting and whether they will be admissible for a final decision. All this does is extend the process, not avoid it.

If your state does not recognize fault grounds for contesting divorce, you can request the judge to consider reconciliation counseling. This will ultimately be the decision of the judge.

Mediation and Counseling

A judge may advice mediation, but not counseling. Mediation is a process where the couple meets with a third party that is trained in these cases, either a social worker or a lawyer, to objectively look at the pros and cons of divorce. The ultimate goal of mediation is not to save the marriage, but to determine whether the entire divorce journey applies to the couple. Sometimes couples may find that their differences are easy to mend with just brief intervention. Others find out that ending the marriage is the best course of action. The benefit of mediation is that a third party’s point of view may help the couple see things differently for once.

Counseling is an individual and personal choice. Therefore, if you wish to seek marriage counseling before consenting to a divorce, you will need to communicate your wishes to your partner and let he or she make the choice to go to. If you cannot communicate directly with your spouse, your lawyer can speak to your spouse’s lawyer about it. Just like with mediation, the goal of counseling is not to convince your spouse to do anything. It is simply another opportunity to see what are the next steps to take. Need more information? Speak to one of our Manhattan divorce attorneys today.

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