Whats the news today-

What if my husband lied during our mediation?

July 22, 2016 Our Blog

A divorce is a stressful process. If you are going through a divorce, then there is a great deal at stake, which includes debts, child support, child custody, assets, alimony, and more. Divorces not only causes stress, but it can also have an impact on you and your husband’s lifestyle. Because of this, your husband may lie to protect his lifestyle and interests. When your spouse lies in court, such as in a divorce mediation, then he could face criminal charges if he is caught.

Although it can be difficult to handle your husband lying during a divorce mediation, it is vital to rely on the legal system, which gives you an increased chance of protecting your assets and getting what you deserve. You also need to remain calm and maintain a mature and professional demeanor at all times. If you initiate an argument in or out of the courtroom, then it will reflect badly on your character. Even if it is only for a brief moment, it can have a negative impact on the settlement.

Keep a Log of When Your Husband Lies
It can be helpful if you keep a log of when your husband lies during the divorce. If you have documents or records to prove your husband is lying, then it can dispute his testimony and warrant your allegations. If you are not able to provide documents that prove your husband is lying, such as adultery, then be sure to record the time and date your husband lied.

In order to be prepared, it can be helpful to have copies of these documents:
Income tax returns
Monthly bank account statements
Mortgage document
Household utilities and bills
401 (K)

If your husband has lied about child related issues, then it is important to have these documents:
Report cards
School attendance
Teacher reports
Family Therapy Documents

How Husbands can Lie During a Divorce
Many women who have been through a divorce have often dealt with lying husbands. There are common ways husbands lie during a divorce, which include:
Hiding or lying about income
Lying about a wife’s financial contribution to the household
Accusing a wife of adultery
Lying about how joint funds were spent

Furthermore, a husband may lie about his wife having an addiction to drugs or alcohol, being emotionally unfit, or being a negligent mother. In some cases, an attorney may advise a wife, who is accused of being mentally unstable, to take a mental health examination to prove her husband is lying.

There are even husbands who accuse their wives of child abuse and contact social services about the allegations. Although it can be frustrating dealing with a situation like this, keeping your composure and cooperating with child welfare workers is the best way to prove your innocence and prove your husband is lying.

Why You Need an Attorney
If you are going through a divorce, and your husband has lied during mediation, then it is vital to have an attorney represent you. An attorney will protect your rights. If you attain legal representation, then you will be advised of the most effective way to present your evidence.

Without concrete evidence to prove your husband is lying, it can be difficult to prove in court. However, an experienced divorce attorney has more than likely been in similar situations and knows the best way to handle a lying husband. Divorce is never easy, and if your spouse is lying, then it can make it even more difficult. An attorney can ease some of the burden that is accompanied with a divorce, which will make the process less stressful.

Going through divorce can be a very stressful time that brings out the worst emotions in former spouses. An unfortunate occurrence that tends to transpire is that the husband can take out his anger on his former wife in inappropriate ways that are targeted at making the wife’s new life difficult. In general, husbands do not want to pay what they owe to their ex-wives in alimony or child support because they do not want a drastic change in lifestyle. Due to the aforementioned factors, husbands often try to lie during mediation in order to get through their divorce with writing as few checks as possible. If your husband if being dishonest, it is important that you are not afraid to take action against him because by being dishonest, he is committing a crime.

The Consequences of Dishonesty in Mediation

Regardless of how the opposing counsel will try to hide this, lying is fraudulent and is a crime. What is important to do is to catch your spouse being dishonest so that you are not prevented from getting what you are legally entitled to just because your husband has decided to be unethical. If you are able to catch your husband with proof, he could be potentially looking at jail time for not being forthcoming in his mediation.

What to Look For

If your husband has his own business that he has built from the ground up, for example, it is possible that he will try to be dishonest in order to lose as little of what he built as possible. Be sure to keep accurate records of the income he is claiming and make notes if he is being dishonest about his business. In fact, if you know that you are getting a divorce, be sure to pay extra special attention to any pertinent information regarding his business so that you are not shorted later on due to his dishonesty.

Advice for Custody Battles

Custody battles can be one of the most difficult aspects of divorce because the reality is that parents do not want to split time with their children. If your spouse is fabricating falsities about your character with the objective of getting sole custody, you are going to have to build a case against him for dishonesty. What is important to remember is that New York state law does in fact favor the mother in custody proceedings. Thus, be sure to use this to your advantage as you are battling for custody of your children.

How An Attorney Can Help

Obtaining legal counsel is vital for the ultimate successful outcome of your divorce case. Furthermore, if your spouse is in fact being dishonest, an attorney can assist you in combating these setbacks aggressively in your case. The best way to find the ideal attorney is to schedule a consultation appointment with our firm. By doing so, we will be able to discuss the pertinent details of your divorce case with you and subsequently determine whether your case is the right fit for our current case load. Thus, please do not hesitate to reach out to today. We would be elated to assist you in your upcoming divorce case and are committed to getting you the best possible results with your case.

Need more information? Speak to one of our NYC matrimonial attorneys today.

Mediation Papers Cannot Be Easily Changed Once Signed By Both Parties

Mediation is often viewed as a less costly and more effective type of divorce proceeding. While not for every couple or situation, mediation can result in an amicable separation that enables both parties to get their life back together as quickly as possible. At the same time, there are some legal concepts and realities that each partner in the marriage must understand before entering mediation. Failing to observe this can result in even more emotional and financial stress that compounds an already difficult life event.

Signed Mediation Papers Become An Enforceable Legal Contract

Many couples wonder how enforceable a mediation agreement becomes once signed. In other words, can one party change his or her mind after the papers have been signed? To answer this question, one just has to be reminded that an agreement reached during mediation becomes a legal contract. This answer speaks volumes. It means that neither party can change the contract with incurring the possibility of legal action, particularly if the other party in the separation disapproves.

For mediation that has been court ordered, the agreement is filed with the court as soon as both parties have signed off on it. Thus, it becomes a matter of the public record and is binding from a legal perspective. This is what makes it enforceable. If either party were to try to change the agreement, or fail to live up to the terms of the agreement in any way, then he or she may be held in contempt of court. At that point, breaking the contract could result in a court imposed fine, and even arrest in extreme circumstances.

Consequences Of An Out Of Court Mediation Agreement

Many divorce proceedings involving mediation take place outside out of the court system. This often occurs when the two parties involved desire a peaceful separation and enter into the process with few arguments or settlement arrangements to decide. It is viewed as a less expensive and far less time consuming path towards divorce. At the same time, the papers that are drawn up to and agreed to when mediation is complete still forms a standard legal contract that needs to be honored.

The law does become a bit muddier in cases of mediation that take place out of court. If one party breaks the agreement that was reached, the only individual in the case will have to go to court in order to have the arrangements enforced. This is exactly what both parties were hoping to avoid in the first place, but there is little option if one party wants to change that papers after they have been signed. In such a case, the court will almost certainly rule that the party who broke the agreement is at fault, and that will also entail that individual having to pay any damages incurred for going against the terms of contract.

Mediation is a great way to reach a quick and efficient divorce settlement with limited fuss and expense. At the same time, it needs to be taken seriously. Neither party should feel coerced into signing the settlement papers at the end of a mediation session. Once they are signed, however, all people involved need to remain mindful that their signature enters them into a legal contract that cannot easily be broken.

Should a spouse’s attorney act as the mediator?

Some couples going through divorce think about using a single lawyer for everything. This is often a mistake especially when that lawyer represents your spouse. The general rule is to not allow your spouse’s attorney to mediate your divorce although there might be a few exceptions. Here is what you should know about allowing your spouse’s attorney to act as your divorce mediator.

Reasons to Use Your Spouse’s Attorney

There are only a few reasons as to why you might use your spouse’s attorney as a mediator. The first is because you need to save money on the divorce. You will not have to hire your own attorney if you rely on the one your spouse has hired. The second reason is if nothing is in contention about the divorce that would require the help of an additional attorney. These are the only reasons that you should consider using your spouse’s lawyer instead of hiring an independent mediator.

Arguments against Your Spouse’s Attorney

There are some serious reasons why you should probably avoid having your spouse’s attorney be the mediator for your divorce. The first is that the attorney is ethically bound to look out for the interests of your spouse before you even during mediation. A second reason is that the lawyer is barred from providing you with legal advice. This means you will be at a disadvantage because no one is protecting your rights during the mediation process. A final reason is that you will never be able to fully trust the lawyer even if the person is ethically sound.

When This Might Work Out Well

There is really only one scenario where using your spouse’s lawyer as mediator will work out well. That situation is if you and your spouse have a very simple divorce. You must also have worked together with your spouse to basically figure out all the details of the divorce from division of assets to parenting plans. This scenario might work out because your spouse’s attorney will not be doing anything but writing up the final settlement agreement for everyone to sign. This still might be a bad idea because the agreement could contain things in complex legal language that you did not agree to previously.

When to Avoid This Idea

You really should avoid allowing your spouse’s lawyer to act as mediator for your divorce whenever possible. This is especially important if there are lingering issues that need to be worked out or negotiated. You should also avoid this if there is a large amount of animosity between you and your spouse. Steer clear of the attorney if you have a very complicated divorce that involves expensive assets, children or retirement accounts. It is normally best to never rely on the attorney of your spouse because that person is bound by counterproductive ethical and professional obligations even when acting as a mediator.

The Benefits of an Independent Mediator

The right course of action is to find an independent mediator for your divorce who is not tied to you or your spouse. The main benefit is that you can trust the mediator to be truly objective and fair. You will not have to worry about favoritism or ethical obligations to your spouse. Another benefit is that you can have your own divorce attorney during mediation to protect your rights and fight for your best interests. An independent mediator is almost always the smartest choice when going through a divorce.

This guest blog post was contributed by LG – a premier Chicago personal injury law firm.



Spodek Law Group have offered me excellent support and advice thru a very difficult time. I feel I've dealt with someone who truly cares and wants the best outcome for you and yours. I'm extremely grateful for all the help Spodek Law Group has offered me. I can't recommend them enough.

~ David Bruce

Spodek Law Group was incredibly professional and has given me the best advice I could wish for. They had been helpful and empathetic to my stressful situation. Would highly recommend Spodek Law Group to anyone I meet.

~ Rowlin Garcia

Best service I ever had. Todd is absolutely class personified. You are in the safest hands with spodek. They have their clients interest in mind.

~ Francis Anim

Spodek Law Group

White Glove Service

Our divorce lawyers provide superior service, and results, with a white glove touch that few others can deliver.

Get In Touch

Schedule Your Consultation

Los Angeles

555 W 5th St 35th floor, Los Angeles, CA 90013


get directions


35-37 36th St, 2nd Floor Astoria, NY 11106


get directions


85 Broad St 30th Floor, New York, NY 10004


get directions


195 Montague St., 14th Floor, Brooklyn, NY 11201


get directions

Call Us